katherine responds to when fates collide
at first, i was going to answer each missive separately, like i normally do. and i started doing just that. but then they just kept on coming. and coming. then, of course, my tears started flowing. and flowing. i am, after all, a simple (albeit joyful) girl. and i realized it would make more sense to stop answering each note individually and just write a simple thank you to everyone who saw "when fates collide" and took the time to tell me their reactions to it.
i think it was william faulkner who said, "every word a writing man writes is to impress some one." artists of any kind have a need to express their art to the world - to connect with those kindred spirits whose hearts view the world in the same hues and temperatures as they do. but so often, as a writer, our heart goes into a vacuum or a television set in someone's home and we never truly know if we succeeded.
thus, there are no words for how moved i am, sitting here in my apartment, reading your letters. i am having the time of my life. and i could have never predicted this day would come. ever.
when i wrote "when fates collide" it was a spiritual journey to me for many reasons. the episode will always be linked in my heart to my grandmother's death and how the symbols of the show helped carry me through that difficult time. but the biggest lesson in my life for me is that there is something greater out there and we are always connected to it. it is certainly greater than the Fates and their Loom. think of it: something greater created the Fates and their Loom in the first place. that something put them there. and that thing will make sure what is meant to be - will be - regardless.
xena and gabrielle will find each other in each and every lifetime. they are meant to be - with or without the Fates and their Loom. remember - Caesar left the Fates chained. they could not mind the Loom, therefore they could not Fate xena and gabrielle to meet on that road outside Poteidaia. xena and gabrielle got their professional hearts desire in this alternate Caesar world. xena became a beloved Empress of Rome - that goal happened without the evil xena period, which was averted by Caesar. so here, xena still evolved into someone enitrely new, deserving of respect. all without becoming evil xena or the warrior princess.
thanks to the new timeline - which "changed the destiny of countless others," meaning again every move we make affects someone else in this thing called life - gabrielle was no longer on the path to slavery. she was able to strike out on her own - and move to greece to become a successful playwright. yet, despite both Xena and Gabrielle's success, neither of their lives have fulfilled them. that is the strongest exploration of the road not taken i could chose to portray that "despite their successes, without each other, their lives are empty."
in continuing with the irony of fate and destiny, caesar will be assassinated by someone he trusts. in one life, brutus. in another life, despite all he knows, his careful ministrations to befriend then kill his original assassin, he is stabbed again by someone he trusts. this time - alti. thus, caesar and a stabbing are meant to be. just as when caesar and xena meet there will always be a crucifixion. it is their destiny - their path together. and it will play itself out, regardless. alti - now having never strengthened her evil by first meeting evil Xena, then battling the warrior princess - has evolved into a high priestess and made her way to a prosperous Rome, thus her destiny has also been changed. but it is still her ambition and thirst for power, her inner core, that will be the death of her. and it will always be linked to xena. that is their destiny - their path together. however, now, in this incarnation, xena can accept - for the first time in the entire series - that being crucified by caesar was meant to be. the act may have spawned the evil xena period she so despises - but without it, her need for redemption would have never come to be. and without that, she would never have become the warrior princess. and then she would never have had a life with gabrielle. thus, despite all the hatred and guilt xena associates with the cross, it happened precisely as it was meant to be. and now, by accepting her destiny in both lifetimes by willingly getting back up on that cross again, she not only forgives herself, she unwittingly gets her original life back by doing so. and that comes from gabrielle, who acts independently of xena by going to the Temple of the Fates.
that is their destiny - their path together. it was my hope to portray the idea that every step we make in this lifetime is the right one - or we wouldn't be living it. we are the sum total of all our experiences, not just the ones we choose to like and accept as "good." i firmly believe the first commandment should have been Love Thyself. we find this so hard to do.
lastly, there have been questions about the ending. the purpose of the ending is this: when gabrielle destroyed the Loom, she did so out of anger at having her life destroyed. at losing what was meant to be. however, gabrielle had no idea she would get the world back in destroying the Loom - she only knew this world was run by evil and manipulation. in this world, she met her soulmate - then watched her die. and that again, is the irony. by xena and gabrielle being exactly who they are - they tapped into that greater mystery of life and changed the world. i believe we all have that power. gabrielle's last act in the Caesar World is to destroy the Loom. that is her final memory until she finds herself in a Garden of Eden like setting. she has no idea what she has done, or were exactly she is. is she dead? then she hears Xena.
she is overjoyed - turns - yet she has only been alive in this world for two seconds. and she has no idea what this world is. Xena too has no idea where she is or what Gabrielle has done to give them their lives back. after all, her last memory is dying on the cross. yet, the first thing they see in this world is each other. but at that first sight, they are in a fog, literally, and emotionally as they try to reconcile all that has happened. they are in shock. so they tread slowly. hi. hey. you gave us the world back... and they figure it out as they go. imagine how you would feel after an earthshattering event - such as an earthquake, a severe car accident, the death of loved one. you are usually in shock and respond in a numb manner, devoid of real emotion until after you process all that you've gone through. that, for me, was far more fitting than being overly emotional and joyous. the stunned looks, the deep voices, the shock - is exactly what i hoped for. precisely. and i wouldn't change a thing.
"when fates collide" is a living breathing dream. and i am humbled by it all. everyone's contribution to it is nothing short of spectacular. and that is my simple thank you.
